In a move that’s sure to make even the most hardened cynics roll their eyes, the city of South Pasadena has decided to make history by launching the nation’s first all-electric fleet of police cars. Because if there’s one thing criminals fear, it’s the silent approach of a Tesla Model Y.
The city spent a cool $2 million on these shiny new toys, which include 10 Tesla Model Ys for patrol duties and another 10 Model 3s for detective and administrative work. If you thought your tax dollars were going to things like pothole repairs, think again. South Pasadena also went all out with new chargers at City Hall and plans for a solar-powered system with battery storage to keep things humming along during an outage because nothing says “prepared for emergencies” like relying on the sun.
The fleet, comprising the newest EV models, is equipped with all the expected features and more. Fancy digital dashboards? Check. Eco-friendly paint jobs? Double check. Enough torque to maybe, just maybe, catch up to a speeding scooter? Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Because nothing says ‘intimidating law enforcement’ like the gentle hum of an electric motor, right? And let’s not forget the tactical advantage of sneaking up on perps in total silence. “The element of surprise!” they cry. Sure, until the battery runs out mid-chase and officers have to sheepishly call for a tow.
Proponents like Mayor Evelyn Zneimer couldn’t be more thrilled. “This transition reflects the city’s vision of a sustainable future based on sound fiscal management and environmental stewardship,” she declared. The city is banking on these zero-emission wonders to save them $4,000 per car each year in reduced energy costs.
According to the news release, police cars, which often sit around idling with gas engines to power emergency lights, radios, and other gear, contribute significantly to emissions. But don’t worry; the new fleet is here to save the day. These electric wonders will reduce nitrogen oxides, volatile organic compounds, carbon monoxide, and carbon dioxide. Because nothing screams, “We care about the environment,” like a $2 million fleet of luxury electric cars to transport criminals.
Of course, South Pasadena didn’t just foot the bill alone. They scored $500,000 in grants from the South Coast Air Quality Management District and $650,000 in work from Southern California Edison. Clean Power Alliance even chipped in with solar panels and batteries. Talk about a group effort to make sure your local police are driving the future—literally.
In case you’re wondering, California is on a mission to ban the sale of non-electric vehicles by 2035. The state’s Advanced Clean Fleets rule demands that government vehicles transition to electric starting in 2024, though emergency vehicles were spared.
The initiative will be a trial to assess the dependability and performance of electric vehicles in a crucial public safety role. If it proves successful, this could pave the way for reducing vehicle pollution, which remains California’s largest source of greenhouse gas emissions. The initiative also aligns with the state’s ambitious goal to cut emissions by 48 percent from 1990 levels by 2030.
Critics are already having a field day. “Are they going to pull over criminals and offer them a Tesla test drive?” snarked one local resident. “What’s next, biodegradable handcuffs?”
But hey, kudos to California for trying. In a world where logic often takes a backseat, at least they’re consistent. If you’re planning a heist anytime soon, remember: if you hear a faint whirring noise behind you, it’s not a drone; it’s probably California’s finest in their shiny new EVs. And if you’re caught, maybe they’ll let you recharge your phone while you’re in the back seat. It’s all about that green life, after all.
