California Governor Gavin Newsom’s been caught red-handed Monday night shipping prepaid burner phones to tech CEOs, and conservatives like me are howling because it’s the most Newsom thing ever—flashy, wasteful, and reeking of desperation. Sacramento journalist Ashley Zavala at KCRA broke the story—multiple sources say these packages, loaded with Newsom’s direct line, landed on the desks of “several tech executives,” and Republicans across the state are rolling our eyes at yet another head-scratching stunt from America’s most overrated governor.

Newsom’s team didn’t shy away from owning this nonsense when they spilled the beans, and you can practically hear the smugness dripping off their excuse. His office told KCRA they’ve been doling these out since November to the top 100 California-based CEOs—claims it’s all paid for by the California Protocol Foundation, a nonprofit he’s funneled cash into from his 2023 inaugural leftovers—$1 million, to be exact—conservatives say it’s a slimy dodge—Republicans figure he’s just trying to skirt public records laws while pretending it’s all above board.

The tech titans didn’t exactly roll out the welcome mat, and it’s the kind of pushback that makes this even sweeter for folks like us. Sources told Zavala some execs got spooked—skeptical, security concerns buzzing—because who wants a random burner phone from a guy like Newsom showing up uninvited—conservatives like me call it creepy—his comms director, Izzy Gordon, chirped to KCRA it’s been “positive” and sparked “valuable interactions,” but Republicans bet it’s more about Newsom’s ego than any real business.

Let’s break it down for hardworking Americans who see through this baloney—Newsom’s already known as the guy who texts every CEO in sight, Politico says his digits live in their phones—so why the burner circus? Conservatives figure it’s a cheap ploy—maybe he’s channeling Meghan Markle with gift-bag vibes—or he’s dodging transparency laws despite claiming it’s all public record.

The left’s probably swooning, calling it “innovative”—same jokers who ignored Biden’s $216 billion trade gap with Europe last year—but conservatives like me ask what’s next—burner phones for every voter?—X posts are lighting up: “Newsom’s a joke!”—and we’re right—Republicans say it’s why he’s flailing while Trump’s winning—82 percent speech approval from March 4 proves it.

Here’s what it means for folks paying taxes and buying groceries—this burner phone nonsense is peak Newsom, and conservatives say it’s a disgrace! Republicans bet it’s backfiring—tech CEOs aren’t his lapdogs—while we’re thrilled—he’s wasting time and money when California’s a mess!

This is what happens when you’ve got a governor who loves the spotlight more than solutions—he’s peddling phones instead of fixing roads! Conservatives figure he’s scared—can’t stand Trump and Musk outshining him—but we say tough—time to ditch this gimmick and face reality!

America’s watching a slickster flounder while real leaders deliver—Newsom’s not fooling anyone with this burner baloney. Conservatives stand tall because this is our fight—Republicans cheer—Trump’s draining the swamp while Newsom’s drowning in his own flop sweat!